Comedy Attire Connoisseur Pillows

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Bangers and Mash

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."