Comedic Car Care Prints

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'He's lookin' at me!'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway.

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

Flying Ear Specialist

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

Wild Window Washers

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

'Not yet! Not yet! Wait until he waxes it!'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

New Age Auto Repair