College Cynic T-Shirts

'I go to college -- What do you do for a living?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'I hate my life.

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

Will Self deprecation

Obama builds own gallows.

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Once a politician is elected, his work is over.

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'That's it?'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

'According to the voice-stress analyzer, he's not going to lower taxes.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"...and, if elected, I promise never to tell another lie...oh, there I go again!"

Man with t-shirt: 'I think, therefore I don't vote'