College Adviser Mugs

"I read your college application essay. First of all, the word college has two l's."

"Writing about your community service is good, but I would play down the court-ordered part."

Ethics exam cheater.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Continuing education.

U of Debt

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

Saving for College.

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'