Collects Courtroom Memorabilia T-Shirts

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'

Billy. The Kid.

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Downton Abbey Road"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

Sue The Bastards

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'