Collector Of Quirky Office Humor T-Shirts

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Golfing Boss

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Work Parfait

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."