Coiffeuse T-Shirts

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

What price beauty?

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Woman applying makeup

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Blend Schools

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Trust me to get the awkward one...!"

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

They don't test products on lab animals at Earthstone Cosmetics.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"