Coiffeuse T-Shirts

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

Woman applying makeup

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Blend Schools

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Trust me to get the awkward one...!"

"Your mascara is running."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

They don't test products on lab animals at Earthstone Cosmetics.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'