Cocktail Conversation Ace Pillows

The Braggart

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

'Fill 'er up!'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"Everything has been done to death."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

"How can we reduce red tape and promote market forces?"

"Who am I to question our government's policies? I'll tell you who I am! I'm Bernard A. Nesbitt, who reads the 'Times,' the 'Wall Street Journal,' the 'Post,' 'Newsweek,' 'Time,' 'Business Week,' 'U.S.News & World Report,' 'Look,' 'Life,' and 'Saturday Evening Post.' That's who I am!"

"Lionel will be watching the new Administration very closely."

"As far as I'm concerned, they can do what they want with the minimum wage, just as long as they keep their hands off the maximum wage."

She's been teaching too long!

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

A guest departing a party.

A nice Chianti?

"I'm confused now. Was Shakespeare somebody else or was somebody else Shakespeare?"

"I won't suffer fools gladly. Yourself excepted, of course."