Coach's Advice Lover Pillows

'Try not to dip your shoulder and keep your head in there. Remember, all the great ones go through slumps.'

What else is there to wish for?

YOLO vs YODO

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

'I could really do with a change, couldn't you?'

"Your aptitude is important, but more important for success is your attitude."

"I've never heard of a PE teacher giving football homework."

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'Oh yeah! My self help group knows a lot more than your psychiatrist. First of all, there's a lot more of them.'

Great coachees recognise great coaches.

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

"There's something missing on your resume'..."

'I fired my motivational trainer and started listening to my mother.'

"It's the Ask Sadie advice hour. 'Shmernie' in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?" "How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to warn people about how they're getting screwed over, but they keep vot-- I mean, hanging out with the screwer-overers." "Give it up, 'Shmernie!' It's over!" "This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment from 'S

'Now this time, just for the heck of it, try releasing that sucker a little sooner,'

"I was named Prisoner of the Year for ten years running."

'You should have read the cookery book for teenagers. It's pretty short: 'Take the food off the package before you microwave it'.'

Spring Training

"I found out I'll never turn into a butterfly. I'm a moth. "

'No sweat, dad. If I'm going to live to be one hundred and six there's still plenty of time for improvement.'

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

"Just a word to the wise, and Gary..."

Well, you're in luck! Even though you're totally overqualified for the job, that's balanced by all the horrible things your references said about you.

'Good luck, kid. I trained at age 3, was traded twice by age 5 and I peaked at 7.'