Cloud Services Manager Pillows

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"When I grow up I hope to get into data storage."

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"So big data in the cloud really exists!"

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"You can't say that to a customer!"

Automated customer service.

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

"I hate people using the cloud."

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"Do I use a cloud? I was downloaded from a cloud. Duh."

The Cloud

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"

'I'm keen on precise statistics as the next person...'

'Did you keep a back up in the cloud?'

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'

"I'm here to thank you. The suffering index is much higher since you outsourced your customer service and tech support overseas."

Weather bar

"We need to really FOCUS on our customers if we're to rip them off to inflate our profits."