Cloud Nine Cruiser Gifts

'I'm considered a saint, but my mother always thought I could've done better.'

R.I.P. ZZ Top - Dusty Hill 1949-2021

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Whack A Soul.

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"I still hate you."

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

Heavenly Take Out

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"I don't care if you are a Leicester City fan - you can come down off that cloud right now!"

Prince in the Afterlife

The Cheese God

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

Home is where the Harp is.

OHMIGOD!

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'Dress code?'

An awkward fear of heights...

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Everest Sign in Heaven

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"