Closing A Restaurant Prints

Kentucky Fried Horse

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Today's special... donuts.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"This is our soft opening."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

Kitchen Kapers

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.