Clinical Settings Pillows

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

"Sorry, we have to let you go. You've grown too tall for our cubicles."

I like a lot of witnesses around.

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

A&E Department: "Take a seat!"

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

'Have you noticed it, too?'

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

"We're taking you out of the clinical trial and putting you in a criminal trial."

"Hello? Beasts of the Field? This is Lou, over in Birds of the Air. Anything funny going on at your end?"

"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

'Nurse, we think you might be getting a little too close to the patient.'

Arrivals and Departures

Volunteered for one medical experiment too many.