Climbing Sage T-Shirts

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

One way only.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

"It's still in beta."

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"It needs more old salt."

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

The Senior Citizen Surfer

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"The real money is in franchising."

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

"A door can never have too many hinges."

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Ars longa, vita brevis (Art is long, life is short).

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'