Climbing Sage T-Shirts

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

One way only.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

"It's still in beta."

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"It needs more old salt."

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

The Senior Citizen Surfer

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"The real money is in franchising."

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

"A door can never have too many hinges."

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Ars longa, vita brevis (Art is long, life is short).

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'