Classroom Captains T-Shirts

"I spent the summer wearing a mask, washing my hands, and social distancing."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Children's education

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

The Giamatti era

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Teacher's pet dog

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

"She's a high grade teacher."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

Lessons.

'That's the bell for round two.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

"I circulate around the classroom to make sure the class runs smoothly. I need a pair of comfortable walking shoes."