Classic Story Remixers Mugs

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

William Tell

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Grumpy old merry men.

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"The true story"

"This giant, Jack, did he touch you in any way?"

Requiem

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

Revised Texts

B.B.C. Watchdog

Sadly, Rapunzel didn't account for the Prince's weight.

'Jeez! What comes after 'huff'?'

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

'Sorry, no woodworm!'

"Just kiss her you idiot!!!"

"We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. They're using the metric system."

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll And Mister Softee

'I'm afraid your huffing and puffing days are over.'

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

Turandot

Witch sends Friend Requests to Hansel and Gretel

'Boy, down there.' 'Yes, Mr. Scrooge.' 'Tell the butcher...to cancel for goose. I just had a visit from the spirit of Veggie Future.'

Clara and the Nutcracker

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future