Classic Story Remixers Mugs

You go ahead - I already downloaded all The Pied Piper's songs online.

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

William Tell

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Grumpy old merry men.

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"The true story"

Requiem

"This giant, Jack, did he touch you in any way?"

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

Revised Texts

B.B.C. Watchdog

Sadly, Rapunzel didn't account for the Prince's weight.

'Jeez! What comes after 'huff'?'

'Sorry, no woodworm!'

"Just kiss her you idiot!!!"

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

'Nice try, Chicken Little. We're not falling for that one again.'

"We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. They're using the metric system."

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll And Mister Softee

Turandot

'Boy, down there.' 'Yes, Mr. Scrooge.' 'Tell the butcher...to cancel for goose. I just had a visit from the spirit of Veggie Future.'

Witch sends Friend Requests to Hansel and Gretel

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future

'With hindsight, Samson realised that he should have suspected something'

'I'm afraid your huffing and puffing days are over.'