Clairvoyant Seeker Pillows

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

MME. Jamilah can read your thoughts! 20 Min = 15, - Euro.

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Needs to get a life"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Tiny Visions

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

My God, I need to fart.

Astral Projection