Clairvoyant Comedy Lover Pillows

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

"I don't need to know the future. I need to know where I put my car keys."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Asking out a palm reader.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Quantum Psychic

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"Gross."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Who knew grass migrates?

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'It's Blurred.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."