City Birdwatcher Gifts

"There he goes again - 'When I lived in the rain forest'."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Children's Parties

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

Scene of seagull troops about to charge a picnic.

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Two vegans, please."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Bird Torture.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'