Church Community Buff Prints

Big Brother in Monastery.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Let us pray...'

"That's our new church mascot."

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

The ten ammendments

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

The Sleeping Congregation.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

Tipping Pain Chart

United Church of OMG

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."