Chuckle-worthy Court Moments Prints

'Of all times to have a dance tune get stuck in my head.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

How Lawyers Evolved.

"Case dismissed."

'Your Honour, I think I've got something that will satisfy you and the jury.'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

'Your honor, when considering sentencing please note that my client drove a hybrid car that gets 80 MPG.'

Lawyer Xing

CRIMINAL COURT, 'Don't you just HATE it when they show no emotion?'

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

'Since you can't afford an attorney, one will be inflated for you.'

"I killed him in self-defense. I'm not good at accepting criticism."

"Basketball star, huh? Tell me, what makes you think you're above the law?"

'Hang 'em high is just an expression Judge!'

There was certainly no arguing Defense Attorney Smith had a point.

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

Your are charged with habitual drunkeness, because of habitual thirst.

'Your Honor, my client demands that the catnip evidence be removed!'

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

'I would like to call as my next witness my toupee, Your Honor,'

'But, what if we look back on this as the Golden Age of Litigation?'