Choosing A Career Gifts

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'But father, I don't want to study socioeconomic factors in relation to market fluctuations. I want to be a cage fighter.'

'How do you know he wants to go to college? Maybe he wants to be a sportscaster.'

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

"I aim to have an ulcer before I'm 35, sir."

At the careers Office - "I want to be a corporate lawyer - that'll be �350 please!"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Well Mimi, what's it going to be...medicine or the cello?'

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

"I want to be a statistician, but only 50% of the time."

"I want to be a fat cat."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Make a lot of money."

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Beware the Dog: 'Hopefully I'll grow into the job...'

Go! Means NOW!

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"The boss can see you now."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."