Chocolate Barterer Pillows

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Rum Mage Sale Today

"I'll give you three cans of Happy Herds Condensed Milk for two cans of Affaire de Coeur Flaky Salmon."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"That was easy. My Easter Bunny app has an egg-seeking GPS."

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

'All fixed Ma'am: You owe me two hay-bales, four sugar cubes and three apples...'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'I have no money to pay my tab, but I will give you a free reading of my novel.'

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

'Stress relief techniques include meditation, slow breathing, and visualization of chocolate bars.'

"Sorry. Cash only."

'Cooking utensils - always good for bartering.'

"Please move... I'm begging you! I will give you a carrot the size of my arm, soaked in honey, if you get us home..."

Change and barter machines.

Whatever-U-Got We'll Take It Store.

'This ice cream tastes like *@#!'

'If you're wondering where the building is, I sold it. I needed the money to finance my Western elk hunt.'

"Now, follow me. . . You, on the other hand, have tons of hay but need milk. Right? I, on the other hand, have plenty of milk but need hay. . ."

"... okay, so it goes, poison, antidote, poison, antidote, poison, poison, antidote, antidote, poison, antidote, poison."

"It's a good thing you brought your car in when you did, my daughter needs braces."