Chimney-less Modern Dweller T-Shirts

"It's Santa, we don't have a chimney, so he's trying to get in through the central heating duct."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"Come and get it!"

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

"You like it? We purchased the fourth wall from 'Westworld'."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

"Factominiums."

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

Early American Think tank

"This is the main house, plus there's a cottage on the property where your Lyft driver would live."

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk

"...there's honey all over the walls, a weird buzzing noise 24 hours a day and some weird broad at the end of the hall thinks she's the queen!"

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'