Child-wrangler Extraordinaire Mugs

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Talk about tough days.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm so good at this!"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"Where's your nose?"

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

Parenting Business Deals

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

The First Day Back

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

Quiet Time

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."