Child Of An Absent Father Gifts

'Well, draw your absent Daddy.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'That's my boy...'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

"Hello?"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

"Are you going to move?"

Seventh Birthday

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"