Child Education Pillows

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

"Peter and I spent the summer re-wilding the children."

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hate Platforms

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Computer Room.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Big Bang Theory.

"They grow up so fast."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Fear/Knowledge