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Young Pups In A Chat Room.

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

Catroom.

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Feel free to hydrate during my presentation."

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

"Don't you understand, he's a Creature of the Web?! If he doesn't log on soon, it'll be too late!"

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Conversation Starter Kit

"If you weren't prepared to agree with everyone, why did you leave your office?"

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."

"People don't understand that alcoholism is a hazard of my profession!"

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Brad, we've got to talk."

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

'I'm going to Internets Anonymous...we meet in a Yahoo chatroom!'

'There s nothing to discuss Lester...I told you maybe and that's final!!!'

'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will rip out my entrails and dance on my grave.'

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

"Call the plumber yourself. I'm swamped."

"I don't have a problem with social drinking. It's the social not-drinking that gives me trouble."

Social Media: You have 10 Enemy Requests.

'I really enjoy our conversations online.'

'I am so unfriending you!'