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Up please...

'Another confabulous breakthrough, professor.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

You're the olive in my martini

"Check out this new store."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Pie Charts, Inc.

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Dragon Graph

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'