Chalkboard Champion Pillows

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

'I forgot the question.'

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'Some days, I think they can understand every word I say.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

'Thank you for sharing your intellectual property with the class.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"C'mon Phil, it's not like we're trying to hit a baseball."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'This probably isn't the most suitable punishment for him.'

'...Or not.'

There is no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

'Although my hands do get dried out, a chalk holder is not for me. I have technophobia.'

Make Math Fun: "Now that would be a breakthrough!"

"Then I say to myself, 'What's the use? There isn't any Nobel Prize for math.'"

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

"Put four. Teachers need encouragement."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"There is no latest thinking on the subject, Robert."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

It's an arithmetic class. Stop calling it a "numbers racket"!

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'But I digress...'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."