Cereal Comedian Mugs

Biggest selling fly cereal on the market.

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

Cruncho Cereal with moral fiber.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"States of tofu"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

6 Brothers Falafel

Chez Nous Menu

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

Cookbooks

"Would you like some wings?"

"Ninja bread men"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Is the MSG local?"

"This is our soft opening."

Hot Pie Therapy

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.