Career Motivator Pillows

'Don't look at it as being stuck in the same job year after year... think of it as tenure.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

GCSEs

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

When we believe together we achieve together.

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

Sinking sales

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

"Any questions regarding our financial incentive plan?"

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'Try as I may to get my ducks in a row, here's always some turkey stepping out of line.'

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

Support, Encourage, Inspire.

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

'A raise might destroy their initiative. The good old carrot and stick bonus keeps them focused.'

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

"…'Hey, Mr Tally man, Tally me banana' …when I first heard that song I knew I had to be and accountant."

'Maybe framed copies of your mortgage, auto loan, and tuition loans are too much of a motivator. Maybe you need a financial planner.'

'We're not exactly sure why it works yet but his productivity is up 50.'

Elf of the Month

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'