Career Longevity Pillows

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Others will fight for you

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Go! Means NOW!

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'