Career Embellisher T-Shirts

'You're foreman at a lumber yard. I wish you wouldn't tell people you're chairman of the boards.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Working 9 to 5.

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'