Career Counsellor T-Shirts

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Follow your dreams unless of course, it involves dropping out of school to join a rock band.'

"So far, all my internships have just segued to other internships."

'No, nothing under 'love rat'.'

"Billy is not one to follow rules. In other words, he's more likely to succeed in the rodeo circuit then in dressage..."

"Staff support"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Couples' therapy

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

Do you have any other skills?

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Caged Businessman

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"