Career Consideration Gifts

Football Brain Injuries

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Career Choices

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'