Career Change To It Mugs

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"Our company has been hit by a data breach...now everyone will know my real age!"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Others will fight for you

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"