Care Home Comedian T-Shirts

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

How's the new one?

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

Therapy for babies.

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'But this IS my mobile home!'

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'This is the crib phone. You have the wrong extension.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

"April Fool's on her!"

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'Yes, I'm sure they'll let you watch your soap operas, grandma.'

'Oh, poor thing. You've got a really high temperature!'

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

'Harold is so overjoyed about your trip, Mother, he's speechless!'

Taggers rest retirement village

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."

'It's my mobile home.'

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

'The Ladies Home Auxiliary claims responsibility.'

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

"This says you're only 54. We need to cart you down to the rec center for questioning."

Old Man Boot Camp: 'Hoist those trousers up higher! Unzip that fly and get some soup stains on that cardigan...'