Card Shark Of The Household Gifts

'No, you tell the kids they better do their homework, or else. They always think I'm bluffing.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The height of fashion in 1796

Dogs and their thoughts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Little league world series of poker.

'How about a game of cards?'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Some card-game puns

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Stag poker"

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Updated History: "Pokerhantas and John Smith." I'll call you bet and raise ten bucks.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Playing cards.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'

'Once again, I fold.'

It was indeed an awkward moment, but Mrs Claus had nailed them all...finally, the truth was out!!

'Yes, Sir, all the computers are solitaire game 'free'.'

Worm Bed

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"