Carbon Counters Pillows

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Secretive Weigh In.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

All Natural Nothing

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

"What about my footprint?"

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.