Capitalism Buff Mugs

Boom and Bust

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

Loan Alley

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

Dow Jones drop

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

The Price of Freedom

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

"Money is life's report card."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Corporate Greed.

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

"Sir, your greed is showing."

'That might work as your own personal mission statement. But what we're really shooting for here is something the whole company can get behind.'

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."