Canines T-Shirts

"In heaven we're all Border Collies."

Naughty Dog with Wagging Tail

"We find curb appeal very important."

After achieving his biggest accomplishment, Fido struggled to find a new sense of purpose to his life.

'I used to be confined to my backyard, but with this mobile device, I can do my business anywhere.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Don't even think about trying to teach me tricks. I'm not some sideshow freak who's here for your sick amusement."

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

"You can't fake throwing sticks this many times and expect to just waltz in here, Mr. Federman."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

Even in a family photograph, the Doberman's remained expressionless, leaving the viewer unsure if they were happy, or about to attack.

"I'm tired of wearing my brother's hand me downs."

He'll 'stay', all right..on the velcro dogmat.

"Since Rover became a therapy dog, he's gotten uppity."

"Son, just remember one thing. Never pee on the invisible fence."

Male dog taking a toilet break.

A yellow dog

Dog porta-potties

'That's Milly for you...she buries her bones the minute she gets them.'

'The last time I burried bones it took hours until their owner stopped screaming!'

"Me too - I thought that was for the postman's benefit!"

"You wanted a really big dog! So you better take this poopy bag and a snow shovel and walk the beast!"

"Being a pet is all right, but I prefer being self-employed."

"It isn't quite how I pictured it, either."

"He doesn't bite, but he does some pretty violent tail-wagging."

"She just never seems to get enough attention."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

"Stupid mutt doesn't know any tricks."

"Barking's kinda my thing."

"Rex, Rex, put your glasses on! Don't sniff that bottom, it's not another dog: it's a skunk!"

"This silly magazine article says dogs only PRETEND to love us to fulfill deeply ingrained, parasitic survival instincts. Well, they don't know my Skipper, do they?"

"Do those shoes taste funny to you?"

"Let's go, Barney - I guess some people just don't like dogs."

"Is she looking at my butt now? No. How about now? No. Really? Now? Nope."

"I envy you."