Canine Cinephile Gifts

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

What's an Imax cave?

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Housekeeping?!"

'It was great. I hated it.'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

Film Star Robert de Niro

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"Personally, I'm getting sick of sequels."

May I have the envelope, please?

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I love my luvvie."

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

'Cosa vuol significare 'Spaghetti Western'?'

'We are from the planet Condescendia. Take us to your cute little leader.'

Daniel Craig caricature

Jennifer Aniston

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

Marcello Mastroianni.

'Well, actually my first big break was a slither-on part in 'one was flown into the cuckoo's nest'.'

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

Tenafly International Film Festival

Woody Allen

Biannual relationship conversation, new business. Item one: What kinds of movies should we see going forward. Action thrillers with the bodacious Clint Eastwood. Moralistic British comedies, anything starring or produced by Al Gore! Eastwood! Natalie Portman! What?! it's platonic! Eastwood. Whatever you want. Gimme your bullhorn. It's spankin' time.