Campaign Staffer Prints

'Remember, our hosts are from a swing state, so no political babble or they may snap!'

Huma and Anthony: Really Finished

Man, Bernie Sure is Grouchy

Vote. Senate. Re-Elect. No, Ernie, "voting with your feet" doesn't refer to kicking them out of office.

Hello, this is the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. We hear you're running for Congress s a progressive Justice Democrat. That's right. And we see you've actually pulled ahead of the Republican, in a district we always though was unwinnable. We're just calling to congratulate you on demonstrating a Democrat can actually win this race. House of Java Cybercafe. Thank you. So you're going to help me? We're going to ask you to step aside so one of our rich ... I me

"They're all good. I say we go with jackass!"

"Larry's idea of participatory democracy is hanging up on a robocall."

Elizabeth Warren

"Good boy."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'If only every year was an election year.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Political convention

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Elections

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

The following is a paid political announcement.

2020 Republican Party National Convention

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

America's funniest election gaffes

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

Election 2020