Campaign Finance Prints

Will Legislate For Contributions

"Nothing pays off more than a million dollars donated to the political campaigns of a few key politicians!"

"Some PACs, senator, are more super than others."

"When you say campaign-finance reform, is that with or without an asterisk?"

IRS. Can I check off a dollar to be used against candidates for public office?

Billionaires and Millionaires: 'Ohhh...Before you lose consciousness, what size campaign contribution can I put you down for?'

". . . and yours is the most special of the special interests I cater to."

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"Our war is against cancer."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Political convention

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

Save the unicorn.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Elections

Pearly King and Queen

The Russian Election.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'