Camera Ninja Pillows

Taking the perfect photo of my cat.

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

ACME Balloon Company.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Elephant ass selfie.

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'Well done! This works much better.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....