Cake Skipper T-Shirts

"I'm putting you on a skipping diet. . .Skip cakes and wine."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

The Great Lamington Drive of 1892 - Lamingtons are being herded like cattle across the plains by cowboys... or lamingtonboys.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

Bored Baker

After conquering Baked Alaska, Mount Bakewell was a piece of cake.

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

Sleeping through new year celebrations

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

'You remembered to bake it BEFORE the stripper got in, right?'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

'I think you left one off!'

Sailing

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

Young against old

Beach Bouncer

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'