Cagey Conversationalist Mugs

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

'Dog got your clog?'

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Statue of Christopher Columbus

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"You're not even listening!"

"Hey, keep it down, we're trying to have a conversation."

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'