Caffeine Contenders Pillows

"It's a mug's game!"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Writers without borders.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

National Coffee Day

'You've had enough!'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'You've had enough.'

Coffee Menu

"How about a little more coffee?"

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

Too Much Coffee Man

Sermon on the Grounds...

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Mums coffee morning