Buying A New Computer Prints

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

Will this one count my blessings and display them one by one?

"Do we want a four terabyte SSD with our new computer? We'll need to discuss it." "Do we?" "You'll need at least five terabytes, Mom."

And this computer comes with a three year warranty, but of course it'll be obsolete in 6 months.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Yes, dear, our computers are very user-friendly."

"I'm getting a new computer, so I'm making sure all my data on this one is erased."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Googler

Right click for yes...

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

Robotic Man

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Here's MY information highway!'

Evolution.

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Multi-tasking.